Tips On How To Win The Internal Wars

There are so many secrets of success in any endeavor in life but of all the secrets, the first step to absolute/total success is having a proper self-esteem. Because it determines how well the other secrets of success will work for you.

The building of a proper self-esteem is a must if anyone hopes to achieve success in whatever he/she is doing. It is a mobile force which motivates an individual towards the achievement of any set goal.

Self-esteem as defined by the dictionary is simply "Pride in yourself". Self-esteem also connotes the following:
1. Self-Respect: Placing value on yourself.
2. Self-Acceptance: Being yourself without compromise and accepting yourself just as you are.
3. Self-Love: Loving yourself in spite of other's opinion about you.
4. Self-Ego: having a high opinion about/of yourself
5. Self-Worth: the price/value you place on yourself.

Self-esteem, in general, is the value/price you place on yourself. It should be noted that it doesn't take away character/humility. It is the ability to transfer your value onwards thus bridging other people. "Let no man despise you" because "if you are despised, you will be deprived of your rights/needs/benefits."

By virtue of the wrong notion many people have about self-esteem. Many tend to think that a person with a proper self-esteem is a proud person. The following are the qualities of a proud person, thus differentiating him from one with a proper self-esteem:
1. Self-Centeredness: He only thinks about himself. His focus is only on himself and not on others.
2. Self-Seeking: He always works to his own advantage at the expense of others. He simply uses men and dumps them without making them.
3. Egocentric: He only thinks about himself thus making him an egoist (a person who only thinks of himself) and an egotist (one who only talks about oneself).
4. Selfishness: He is only interested in himself and only does something for himself.

The above qualities puts a clear difference between one with a healthy self-esteem and a person with an unhealthy self-esteem.

HOW TO BUILD A HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM
It is worthy to note that a man with a healthy self-esteem attracts people to himself while the proud (one with an unhealthy self-esteem) repels people. Therefore building a healthy self-esteem is mandatory for all and care must be taken not to fall on the wrong (negative) side. Here are some basic ways to building a healthy self-esteem.
1. See yourself: Discover, know and believe in yourself and your potentials via scriptural adventure.
2. Be yourself: After seeing yourself, then become who you have seen in you. No room for imitation because imitation is limitation.
3. Free yourself: Release yourself from everything that would want to hinder you from becoming the person you have seen in you.

Other ways are:
1. Self-Love: This produces self-worth.
2. Self-acceptance.
3. Concentrate on your areas of strengths because low self-esteem is born when your weaknesses becomes your focus.
4. Invest in your knowledge. This is very important in building a healthy self-esteem.
5. Do not brag or else pride will set in and drag you down.
6. Find a successful role model (mentor) basically someone who has conquered what you fear.
7. Always carry a positive attitude about yourself because it will determine your altitude.
8. Avoid the company of those whose language drains you of your positive mentality, since, your mentality is tied to your self-esteem.
9. Do not fight to maintain your status with anyone. Just avoid them.
10. Dare to promote someone else's self-esteem. Esteem others high and achieve your goal of a healthy self-esteem.

HOW TO INCREASE SOMEONE ELSE'S SELF-ESTEEM
It is said that you achieve what you want when you help many others achieve what they want. What you make happen for other, God will make happen for you. So to help others achieve a healthy self-esteem.
1. Look for opportunities to build up people.
2. Separate the performance from the performer.
3. Criticize the performance, praise the performer.
4. Always reprimand the performance in private because public disapproval is the worst form of punishment and leads to low self-esteem.

CAUSES OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM
Amongst many other, one vital cause of low self-esteem is FEAR. That is,
1. Fear of Rejection
2. Fear of Change
3. Fear of Success

This is basically one of the causes of low self-esteem in an individual. But some other causes of low self-esteem in follower via the leaders are:
(i) Failure to give credit for suggestions
(ii) Failure to correct grievances
(iii) Failure to encourage
(iv) Criticizing follower in front of other people
(v) Failure to inform followers of their progress
(vi) Failure to ask followers their opinion
(vii) Favouritism
(viii) Stealing their ego's food, that is, the satisfaction of their needs for self-esteem.

The issue of a healthy self-esteem is of great importance in life's adventure. It is a necessary companion for everyone who wishes to succeed in life's endeavour. Without it you are left without (outside) the camp of success. To despise this issue is to be deprived of success. A healthy self-esteem will make your world hold you in high-esteem. Go for it, otherwise, you will loose your seat in your generation. Building it is your responsibility or else you become a liability.

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