Understanding And Relating Positively With Yourself

"Without misunderstanding, they say, there cannot be refined understanding". However, misunderstandings are as a result of improper understanding of, may be, a person's nature. Every one has areas of strengths and weaknesses but our success in life and relationships is traceable to where our focus lies (on the strengths or weaknesses). It is easier to accept a person's weaknesses or peculiarities if we realize that they stem from temperament. We can also learn to anticipate behaviour and try to avoid unnecessary conflicts. It is important to note that no one temperament is better than another; they all contain strengths and weaknesses.

TEMPERAMENTS: WHAT IT IS

The dictionary defines it as "the emotional part of someone's character". Temperament is the combination of traits inherited from our parents. Its root can be said to be in the mind (emotional center). However there are certain facts about temperaments. They are:
1. You are born with it
2. It determines your behaviour
3. It cannot be changed but can be trained (modified)

WHAT IT IS NOT?
1. It is not character: Character is the real you. Character is influenced by your temperament but it is not your temperament in itself. Character is our civilized temperaments.
2. It is not your personality: Personality is the outward expression of ourselves, which may or may not be the same as our character. It is the face we show others.

WHY TEMPERAMENTS?

An understanding of the temperament theory is very important because
1. It breeds agreement via understanding
2. It enhances achievement
3. It facilitates commitment
4. It helps you discover your most pronounced strengths and weaknesses and take advantage of your strengths.

THE BASIC TEMPERAMENTS

There are four (4) basic temperaments. However, everyone has at least one(1) dominant and one or two secondary temperaments. We will briefly consider the four (4) basic temperaments which are:

1. The Sanguine: Derived its name from its rich, warm blood (lively). A warm, buoyant, lively, fun loving and enjoying person. Receptive by nature, external impressions easily find their way to the heart, where they cause an outburst of response. Feelings rather than reflective thoughts predominate to form his decision. His talk usually precedes his thought (he talks before thinking). The sanguine is so outgoing, the life of the party and usually considered a Super extrovert. The sanguine never lacks for friends. He can genuinely feel the joys and sorrows of the person he meets and has the capacity to make him feel important, as though he were a very special friend - and he is, as long as he is looking at you. Then he fixes his eyes with equal intensity on the next person he meets.
STRENGTHS: Warm emotionally, friendly, fun-loving, Outgoing (extrovert), Enthusiastic, talkative, compassionate, responsive, stimulating, ambitious.
WEAKNESSES: Indiscipline, Weak-willed, Egotistical, Emotionally excitable, Unstable, Prone to exaggerate, Hot tempered, disorganized, Manipulative, restless.

2. The Choleric: Derived its name from the predominant body fluid (Choler or yellow bile) (active). A hot, quick, active, practical, strong willed, self sufficient and very independent person. He tends to be decisive, finding it very easy to make decisions for both himself and other people. He is an extrovert but not so intense. He thrives so much on activity. Unemotional by nature, he hardly sympathizes with people. He does not need to be stimulated by his environment, but rather stimulates his environment with his endless ideas, plans, goals and ambitions. He is not frightened by adversities, in facts, they tend to encourage him. His dogged determination usually allows him to succeed where others have failed.
STRENGTHS: Strong-willed, determined, independent, decisive, active and energetic, practical, strong natural leader, optimistic and confident, productive, goal-oriented.
WEAKNESSES: Unemotional and cold, self sufficient, impetuous, domineering, unforgiving, Hostile and volatile, sarcastic and cruel, impatient, unsympathetic, opinionated.

3. The Melancholy: Derived its name from the predominant body fluid (melancholy or black bile) (Black). This is the richest of all temperaments. An analytical self-sacrificing, gifted, perfectionist type of person with a very sensitive emotional nature. An introvert by nature but since his feelings predominate, he is given to a variety of moods. Though a faithful friend, he does not make friends easily. He is perhaps the most dependable of all temperaments, for his perfectionist tendencies do not permit him to let others down when they are counting on him. Disappointing experiences make him reluctant to take people at face value, thus he is prone to be suspicious when others seek him out or shower him with attention. He usually finds his greatest meaning in life through personal sacrifice.
STRENGTHS: Gifted, Analytical, perfectionist, self-sacrificing, self-disciplined, industrious, aesthetic, creative, sensitive, loyal and faithful.
WEAKNESSES: Moody, deeply emotional, easily offended, pessimistic, negative, critical and picky, theoretical and impractical, suspicious and revengeful, self-centered, indecisive.

4. The Phlegmatic: Derived its name from its predominant body fluid (Phlegm) (Slow). A calm, easy-going, never-get-upset individual with a well-balanced temperament. He has a very high boiling point and almost never becomes angry and seldom explodes in laughter but keeps his emotions under control, though he feels more emotion than appears on the surface. He is the easiest type of person to get along with and by nature the most likable of all temperaments. However, he tries not to get involved with the activities of others and is a super introvert by nature. They have a conciliating effect on others and are natural peacemakers. They are masters at anything that requires meticulous patience and daily routine.
STRENGTHS: Calm and cool, easygoing, diplomatic, dependable, objective, efficient, orderly, practical, humorous, agreeable.
WEAKNESSES: Passive and unmotivated, subject to procrastination, indecisive, fearful and filled with worry, unsure, self-protective, stubborn, selfish, stingy, slow and lazy.

OTHER BLENDS
We all have a blend of at least two temperaments: One predominates; the other is secondary, although there are exceptions. However, there are varying degrees of temperaments within the blends. Some of the primary blends using the 60% for the predominant temperament and 40% for the secondary temperament are: SanChlor, SanMel, SanPhleg, ChlorSan, ChlorMel, ChlorPhleg, MelSan, MelChlor, MelPhleg, PhlegSan, PhlegChlor and PhlegMel.

BASIC WEAKNESSES
In spite of the numerous weaknesses of the basic temperaments, there are two that stands out. The sanguine and choleric are more prone to ANGER which is their basic weakness.

Likewise the melancholy and Phlegmatic are prone to FEAR. A major weakness that affects all the temperaments is SELFISHNESS.